Flashback: Brain Trash

July 7, 2009 at 8:02pm

1. What is a petcock? Apparently, it is some motorcycle thingy my husband is watching on eBay that is metal and dangerous looking for having such a pretty name. You could seriously hurt yourself if you bought sight unseen, thinking you were getting some kind of new toy you could put on a leash and dress up in pretty clothes. Here, let me introduce you to my petcock. And out comes this hunk of metal with rods and gears and stuff.

2. If the piece of crap keyboard to the piece of crap computer sitting on my desk is going to take a giant crap on me, why does it have to start with the "enter" key? Couldn't it be an obscure, lonely, unused key? Like whatever the hell that key does with the moon shape on it?

3. How anal retentive is a person when they rearrange the shelf below the bathroom vanity so that instead of glass jar with shells, blue lantern, clear glass candleholder, blue candleholder, it now is glass jar with shells, blue candleholder, clear glass candleholder, blue lantern? All because the glass jar and lantern were about the same size?

4. Why is there a coffee cup on the bathroom sink?

5. Why do my neighbors constitute feeding stray cats as keeping pets? Pets don't have runny eyes, fleas, mangy fur, and scabs all over their heads.

6. Why do women think muffin top is attractive? They must...there's an awful lot of it out there. Or do most women only look in mirrors from the waist up? Is it really so terrible to just buy jeans in one size larger so they FIT???

7. What mother lets her 14 year old date a 17 year old?

8. How early is too early to go to bed?