Crazy Gadget Girl

 

How on earth did our ancestors survive with just a fire and sticks shaped like spoons?  Had they known the technology that would come from the invention of that little thing called electricity, would they have refused to gut that rabbit with their bare hands until the mister got them an electric carving knife?

I don't have an electric carving knife, by the way.

Time for the second half of the gadget review...at least, until I go shopping and find more discarded treasures that will make my cooking life easier.  

VERISMO MILK FROTHER

5/5 STARS

This magical milk machine arrived with the Starbucks Verismo coffee machine.  The machine had multitudes of problems, such as a hatred of well water, only able to use Starbucks Verismo pods, and that problem that all pod machines have...it only made one cup at a time.  But I loved that machine until my tree hugging heart started contemplating how much waste it created.  So, back to the drip coffeemaker and steam driven espresso machines.  HOWEVER, the Verismo milk steamer was a keeper, even if my black little heart that loves black coffee doesn't use it much.  Why?  Because you literally plug it in, pour in milk to the designated line, and hit a button.  And when it beeps you've got yourself a pitcher of perfect steamed milk.  And the best part?  That steamed milk is topped by an absolute PERFECT mound of milk froth.  And let me tell ya, the FROTH is what makes your frou frou drink extra bougie.    As long as I'm pouring coffee down my gullet, I'll own this thing.

    KITCHEN SHEARS

                    

5/5 STARS

This one started out as a joke, but not quite kidding.  I caught my spouse using my regular scissors for food related items, and after thinking of all the things my scissors had touched, I was kind of grossed out.  So, his Christmas stocking a couple years ago had these kitchen shears in it.  And now with me doing all the cooking, they are invaluable.  Get yourself some and quit using your regular scissors, sicko.

PINEAPPLE CORER

5/5 STARS

I have to be honest.  I've never used this gadget.  But the pineapple king that I'm married to, was with me in HomeGoods perusing the kitchen utensil aisle, and jumped on this immediately.  I don't eat fresh pineapple, but he LOVES it, so this tool had to come home with us.  And the first time he used it, his face lit up like a little kid, so I'd say it's a keeper.  It makes carving out that pineapple easy peasy and done within a few short minutes.  If you're a pineapple freak, get yourself one.

MICROPLANE

5/5 STARS

I'll admit, I initially bought this for the sole purpose of zesting fruit.  But then, I realized it can save the hassle of chop chop chop on things like garlic and ginger.  Not that I don't love me some chop chop chop, but sometimes I'm in a hurry and don't want to bother with dicing things into the smallest size possible.  Considering I use this every week, I'd say it was a good buy.  And I even paid retail!

NINJA FOODI

5/5 STARS

I will be honest and say I've only used this once.  But, my son ended up getting rid of this, and after it sat in my store for awhile, I thought, hey, I think I'll give this a try to have some healthier options for cooking.  This little powerhouse handled a stuffed chicken breast dish like a champ, and what really shocked me was how quickly it cooked the chicken perfectly without drying anything out.  Because overcooked chicken is gross.  But MY chicken was not.  I've got a bunch of recipes waiting for this thing, so it will get more use.  The only thing a bit annoying about it is it's huge, clunky size.  It couldn't go in the gadget cabinet because the shelves weren't high enough.  And that tests my OCD brain a wee bit, but I'll get over it.

PANINI PRESS

5/5 STARS

Is a panini grill really one of those necessary gadgets?  Considering my kids always loved my pan cooked grilled cheese, I'd say I could do without this.  But I don't want to.  Because a panini is not a grilled cheese.  Anyone with half a palate knows that.  And it makes a perfect grilled sandwich with perfect grill marks.  And if you have a gadget cabinet, it won't matter that it's taking up room.

ELECTRIC KETTLE

5/5 STARS

Again, one of those gadgets you don't actually NEED.  I don't even drink tea, so why do I have this?  I don't remember why I bought this particular gadget, but I've used it more since moving here than the entire time combined before moving.  It's made hot cocoa for the guy that was freezing his butt off removing snow off the driveway, and has given me perfectly hot water to steep chiles in for a to die for birria ramen dish.  And hey, I've got that gadget cupboard so it's not in the way.

HAND MIXER

5/5 STARS

Finally a gadget that nearly every household has.  But I didn't.  When we were packing to move, my spouse pulled out the old hand mixer that was at least a decade old, and decided we needed a new one so in the trash it went.  So with all my cooking and baking fantasies, I was about to make THE perfect chocolate cake.  BUT the reason it's a perfect chocolate cake has something to do with the mixing.  You see, it's a recipe that actually calls for you to dump all the ingredients in a bowl at once.  No sifting or slowly adding dry ingredients.  BUT YOU MUST MIX IT FOR THREE MINUTES ON HIGH.  No hand mixing, because I actually tried that once, and the cake just wasn't quite as good.  So off to Target I ran, and got an education in hand mixers.  Gone are the days of the cheap $10 mixer.  Hell, I even looked at a $60 hand mixer that didn't look any different than the others sitting on the shelf.  And now they have this thing on the bottom to hold the beaters.  Which, is mildly convenient, but on the other hand, getting the cord back into that holder while the beaters are in it is a bit of a struggle.  But I tend to struggle a wee bit anyway, so at least I amuse myself.  

THE KNIFE

5/5 STARS

And FINALLY, (until I go shopping), the one absolute must have in the kitchen.  A good chef's knife.  Really, don't settle for average.  Get yourself a good one.  This particular style of knife is the only one I will use for the chop chop chop.  It is weighted perfectly and fits my hand like it was made for it.  This is the second one I've owned in 20 years, after the first one finally started loosening at the handle at about the 17 year mark.  Yes, it's that fantastic of a knife.  No respectable cook should be without this kind of knife.  And don't order one online.  Actually take yourself into a nifty kitchen store or gadget aisle, and pick up the knives to see how they feel in your hand.  Not all knives are created equal, and not all hands are the same.  But I can chop chop chop to my hearts content with this sucker.

PHEW...there's the gadget list.  At least up until this particular point, because I'm sure I'm going to spy more that I think I need as I'm out and about perusing kitchen wares.  And now I'm hungry.

New Horizons

 I don't think we're in Iowa anymore, Toto.

Having visited Wyoming prior to moving here, I felt I knew what to expect.  But this state just keeps surprising me.  To make sure this was where we wanted to move, we took a long weekend trip here last fall, and I joined multiple Facebook groups about life here, and for those who were thinking of making the move.  Hubby was all in from the start, but my little planning brain needed to gather as much information as possible before the move actually happened.  

The first thing I kept seeing on all the message boards, was anyone wanting to move here should visit in winter.  Over and over, there were cautionary tales of brutal winters, and the long, cold months could weed out the best of them.  So, when we arrived here at the beginning of December, I was convinced we'd be snowbound and end up eating the birds and squirrels in the yard just to survive.

While Iowa has been slammed with blizzards and snowfall, we've gotten a few inches of snow here and there.  And it's BEAUTIFUL snow.  Sometimes it comes with wind, but hell, Iowa was windy what seemed like ALL the time, which I suppose is why the entire state seems to be nothing but wind turbines now.  The big difference here?  Altitude and sun.  Yup, altitude, which was one of the things that surprised me.  Elevation in our city is just over 6000 feet.  Higher than Denver.  And though I knew that before we actually moved, living in it is where it's been surprising.  That sun is SO WARM.  Just this morning, after about 3-4 inches of snow yesterday, our temps started the day at about 5 degrees, and though it's now only 30, the sun is so bright and warm, the snow is melting, and a light jacket almost felt like too much.  And whereas Iowa winters can see days and days without sun, (I seem to remember one particularly brutal stretch of several weeks) the sun shines here the majority of the time.  

I'm no newbie to harsh winters, and I know we will get ours here at some point.  But any bad weather just doesn't seem to last very long, and that warm sunshine hug is always right around the corner.  Now granted, the flip side of that is our city seems to go with that warming, melting trend and NOT plow any snow.  I have only seen a plow ONCE since living here, and it was dropping sand.  And if I'm going to be honest, it actually could have just been a sand truck, because I can't say I noticed a blade in front of it.  That makes for some VERY interesting driving, especially if you get a childish thrill out of tearing around in fresh snow, but coming from a state with endless salt stains all over the road (and your car and clothes) I have to say I almost prefer these roads.  As long as I don't need to travel out of town, because now I completely understand the barricades I always saw on the interstate.  Yes, they shut down, and for good reason.  Out there in the open, the roads can be BRUTAL.

Wildlife.  Take a drive in any direction and you'll see wildlife.  This is also open range country, so those ranches raising cattle do not have them penned into a small space to squeeze as much cropland as possible out of their acres.  It's spread out, with happy cows.  How do I know they're happy?  I've eaten them, and it made me smile.  I've been told the pronghorn had suffered a large kill due to disease in recent years, so there's not as many, but I see those happy little butts running every time I leave town.  Just south of us, we have a MASSIVE buffalo ranch, and though it would be much cooler to see them roaming free, I'll take it until we can take a weekend trip up to Yellowstone.  And don't even get me started on the prairie dogs.  Those chirping little rodents are adorable, but when I seem them just a hop away from someone's house, I wonder how fun THAT must be...NOT.  It definitely makes me glad to be living in the middle of the city.   I can't wait for spring so we can venture into the back roads even more, as the surrounding areas have coyote, elk, occasionally a wandering moose, mink, and all kinds of birds and animals native to the west.  AND most importantly, NO PIGS. Or their smell.

Mountains.  I can read a map.  I know, being in the southeast corner of the state meant a large amount of wide open areas.  In fact, I did initially think it was going to be similar to the flat landscape of Eastern Colorado.  And it is, to an extent.  BUT, wander to any elevated part of the city and look west or south, and you'll see hints of mountains, especially on a clear day.  Because you know, mountains are big.  So you can see them from quite a distance.  Of course, it's not huge monoliths blocking out the sun...you have to take a drive to see that.  But the drive is no longer 15+ hours.  45 minutes southwest and we're in Estes Park, Colorado.  Take a day trip north and you're at Devil's Tower.   Take one south and there's Pikes Peak.  Take a weekend trip and we can be anywhere from Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, Moab.  Just a wee bit further and you're in Canada, Zion, Glacier NP.   And even closer are state forests and recreational areas all around us.

Rocks.  That's how I knew I had found my home.  I've always been a wee bit obsessed with rocks.  I'd pick up any interesting ones, building a rock garden at my home in Iowa, and collecting them in dishes in the house.  Sometimes, I was worse than a little kid shoving them in my pockets.  But then I moved here, and it's a rock lovers dream.  There are large rock formations everywhere.  Maybe it's that feeling of seeing something that you know has been untouched by humans, but it feels sacred.   It brings a sense of calm and peace, and I'm absolutely in love with my surroundings.  

Sunrises.  Yes, we have great sunsets too, but the sunrises.  Oh lordy, I haven't even taken an early morning drive outside of the city to watch one yet.  But watching the sky light up every morning hasn't gotten old yet.  We have sunrises I'm used to, of just the typical lighting up of the sky.  But then there's the colorful ones.  Where the sky looks like it's on fire, or what I call the cotton candy sunrises.  They're breathtaking, and my hubby loves sending me the ones he sees when he goes to work early in the morning.  I have even made sure to make a perfect early morning coffee spot in one of the rooms of the house, because it has a perfect sunrise viewing window.  I don't think it will ever get old.

This state is stunning.  We haven't even made it to the far corners to see the sights all the tourists flock to.  Just our little corner of it has a beauty I was not expecting.  And though I heard all the endless talk of farmers feeding the country, blah blah blah, there's something to be said for clear air and the beauty of a land where the wide open spaces don't include any commerce.  Did seeing this is the least populated state in the nation factor in to the decision to move here?  Yes.  But little did I know what that actually meant until I arrived.  And there's a recurring theme joked (maybe not joked) about...does Wyoming exist?  Well, let me just say, for the sake of keeping those wide open spaces open, NO, it does not.

Gadget Hoarding

Do you find yourself wandering the kitchen aisles of HomeGoods for the sheer pleasure of it?

Perhaps it's because I've doubled my cabinet space with this new house.  Maybe it's a lack of hobbies.  Maybe it's the dreams of becoming the next Gordon Ramsey.  Scratch that...I have dreams involving Gordon but it's got nothing to do with cooking.  

Whatever the reason, I'm obsessed with all those nifty little things hanging on hooks and sitting on shelves in those kitchen aisles.  And because I'm allergic to paying retail, I keep a mental list of the gadgets I would like to find while thrifting.  Fortunately, with it being February, thrift stores are filling with all those Christmas gifts people can toss now that the gifter has gone home after overstaying their welcome.  

Perhaps I should use logic and ask myself why these magical gadgets are ending up in charity shops.  If they're really so magical, wouldn't they still have a place of honor in their recipient's home?  

NOT THE POINT.  Logic is for wussies.  All I know is thrifting is so much fun this time of year, seeing what ungrateful shits have tossed because they're still subscribing to that Marie Kondo bullshit.  

What IS the point?  I've digressed into the joys of after holiday thrifting when this is actually about GADGETS.  Did I say how much I love gadgets?  All those neat little things you didn't know you needed in order to make the perfect box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.  So, before I digress further, here are my honest reviews, cautions, raves, and general useless thoughts on the gadgets I've collected so far.

HERB THINGY

0/5 STARS

I'd call this an herb stripper, because that IS what it is supposed to do, but that sounds like the name of an Only Fans account held by someone with a mullet, so NO.  Whatever its name, it is supposed to make the chore of getting your fresh herbs off their stems so much simpler.  I call BULLSHIT.  If you're semi-skilled with a knife, there's no need for this thing.  And, minus a few mishaps with fingernails getting in the way, I do have some knife skills *insert evil grin*.   Don't bother with one of these ridiculous things.  I only still have it because it's a gadget, and my brain apparently has a problem with actually throwing a gadget away.  Better yet, I should donate it to Goodwill.  I have nothing else to donate at the moment, so walking up to the drop off doors with this four inch gadget in my hands might make me a bit of a weirdo, but I'm used to people thinking that.  OR, even more fun, I could keep this gadget in my pocket while I'm thrifting, and just throw it on the shelf with the rest of the unwanted and misfit gadgets.  Either way, I'm glad I didn't pay much for this colossal waste of time.

MAGICAL GARLIC CHOPPER

3/5 STARS

The picture of this shows it upside down, because in it's rightful state, it's obscure and looks like a child's toy.  But easy peasy if you want to rest your knife skills for a day.  You just peel your garlic clove, slap it over the grid, and SMACK that lid down and it shoves perfectly diced garlic into the clear bowl underneath.  Granted, it will live a productive life longer if you don't actually SMACK that lid down, but that's part of the fun.  And since nearly every recipe I cook calls for garlic these days, I was thrilled to find this hanging on a hook at TJMaxx.  Yup, paid retail for this little guy, and I'm glad I did after seeing how joyful it is to clean this.  *eyeroll*  Unless I've made a gigantor mess prepping food through the day, my spouse does the cleanup, and he occasionally doesn't get this little thing quite clean enough.  In fact, I'd say anyone who owns one of these needs to have some toothpicks on hand, because that's the only way you're going to get your garlic mush out from between those little teeth.  And if you don't get every last speck of that mush out, you're gonna notice a bit of a garlic funk going on the next time you use it.  All in all, it's a nifty little gadget, but a bit time intensive to clean.  And you have to ask yourself which you enjoy more...the SMACK, or the mind numbing task of chop chop chop.  As much as I love a good smack, I love the chop chop chop a bit more.  

BLENDER/FOOD PROCESSOR

UNKNOWN BUT IT LOOKS COOL

My blender went with my daughter when she moved, and my food processor collected dust until each Christmas when I'd use it to whip up one dip for crackers.  Yes, I had an entire bulky food processor, complete with attachments I never used, just to make a cream cheese dip.  But hey, that thing was only $30 at Hellmart 20 years ago, so I wasn't complaining.  HOWEVER, with much more cooking being done, I pulled that Hellmart cheapie out to whip up a marinade a couple weeks ago.  And I successfully marinated the countertops and all the cabinets within three feet of me.  YES, I used that stupid guard that's supposed to keep your contents from spraying everywhere, but apparently, when you spend $30 on an small appliance at Hellmart two decades ago, you can't expect professional results.  So, this beauty sat in a second hand store, still with what I thought of as a hefty price tag, but then after a quick check online, I saw how expensive they are.  So, here sits my new blender, and it's pretty little food processor attachments are stowed away in one of those many cabinets I now have (one of which is exclusively a gadget cabinet can I get an amen and hallelujah)  It seemed like it had never been used, and still had all it's paperwork, which I perused the other day and saw in the back....a recipe for a coffee smoothie.  A COFFEE SMOOTHIE.  Well, hell yes, let's try that little sucker out!  I got all the ingredients in that thing, fired it up, and all was good.  And the moment I lifted it, coffee smoothie came pouring out all over the counter, and then all over the floor as I raced to get it into the sink.  Because in my eagerness for a coffee smoothie, I didn't bother making sure it was actually put together correctly, and the base was not screwed on tight.  Obviously, my head is not screwed on tight either.  But, after a large amount of time spent cleaning floors and countertops, it got screwed on properly, I put some water in it (smart cookie), ran it, and all seems good.  Have I used it since?  No.  But just talking about that coffee smoothie has me thinking I may just try this baby out again today.

SINGLE SERVE BLENDER

5/5 STARS

I love this little powerhouse of a blender.  My bestie got me hooked on smoothies to get my morning started (or a boost when you forget to eat in the morning).  She is a ferocious little beast.  (the blender, not the bestie, though she's pretty fierce herself)  After a couple years of nearly daily use, she still grinds up whatever you shove in her.  Kinda like me if you piss me off.  Or....wait...this is getting weird.  Anyway, I'm sure there's some who would say that to prevent gadget hoarding, this could replace several of the other gadgets I have for chopping/processing/blending, but this is my smoothie blender and NOTHING ELSE TOUCHES IT.  Weird?  I. Don't. Care.

MINI FOOD PROCESSOR

5/5 STARS

YES, yet another gadget for blending.  But this wee little thing is just too cute.  And since it's cute AND doesn't take up much room, why the hell not?  Actually, as long as you are aware of volume, it's perfect for making sauces.  Notice I said aware of volume?  Because I'm not, and I had this little cutie pie filled to the rim with more ingredients waiting before I realized I had screwed up.  BUT, as long as you are a little more spacially aware than I am, this is a keeper for those homemade sauces.  Plus, it's cute, and these are all over the thrift stores.  I think I only paid $3 for mine.

THE COOL HAND BLENDER

5/5 STARS JUST FOR THE COOL FACTOR

So this is where that after Christmas thrift find thing comes in.  Brand new in the box, with a price tag of $6, so how could I resist?  I've always wanted one.  Why?  I don't know.  It seems cool.  Maybe to blend a soup.  Have I blended a soup ever in my life? Maybe?  I have a vague memory of doing something like that, but honestly, it's probably just me remembering a cooking show.  AND if you look at that fine print, it says "with chopper".  DON'T COME AT ME WITH YOUR LOGIC.  I'm keeping it.  It gets a 5 out of 5 only because I thought it was a cool find.  SHUT UP.

EGG COOKER FOR THE EGG COOKING INEPT

5/5 STARS (I assume)

Packing up a house you lived in for 20 years is NOT FUN.  And since the kitchen and bathrooms are usually done just prior to moving, you just don't pay much attention other than making sure things won't break on the long journey.  So, when I began unpacking all those kitchen boxes and bins, and realized all the room I have for my gadgets, I suddenly wondered where my magical egg cooker went.  Now before I get made fun of, I can whip up an omelet, cook an egg over easy, but it's that boiling that gets me every time.  Hard boiled, soft, doesn't matter...can't do it.  I stared at my daughter in awe the first time she made a perfect poached egg thinking there's no way a child of my loins should be capable of such a feat.  Why do I mention the princess of egg poaching?  Because when she moved, of course I cleaned out a whole plethora of things I thought was crowding my limited storage space.  BUT, being the Princess of Poaching, why would I give her an egg cooker???  So, again, thrifting, I found this one.  (And let me just give a side note that if it says Cuisinart or Ninja, I'm suddenly more interested.)  Because I am an OCD freak who unpacks 20 years worth of a house in four days, I knew I wasn't going to just magically find the old egg cooker, so this one came home with me.  Have I used it yet?  No.  But I will.  EVENTUALLY.  Again, just shut up with your logic.  And in the meantime, a conversation with Poaching Princess the other day informed me that YES, she has the egg cooker.  Needless to say, she doesn't need to use it to poach eggs.

So before this becomes the length of a novella, I'll continue the Great Gadget Reviews of 2024 another day.  Because, yes, there are MORE GADGETS.  PLENTY more.  AND there's more to be found.  Like that Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker that's new in the box sitting at my local Goodwill this very moment.  BYE!

Oh, Just Get Over Yourself

There have been alot of exciting and fantastic things going on in my life lately.  However, the balance in the universe has brought some negatives, and instead of joining the hysterics and dramatics, I'm going to flick them off myself through writing, much as I would an annoying little bug.

I sometimes wonder if grown women miss the days of middle school angst, so feel the need to repeat it.

I have always been a firm believer, that if I personally have an issue with someone, I will speak to them.  That is obvious, by speaking up on social media when I feel someone has crossed a line, and holds true in my personal relationships with family and friends.  It can be tricky, and sometimes a delicate situation, but if it goes against my own integrity, beliefs, or even if something is being discussed that I have nothing positive to say, I will simply state my thoughts on the matter, the why, and make sure I am very clear in my thoughts.
But even I, who freely speaks my mind, have my limits.  And one of those glaring boundaries is childish drama.

I've had several experiences lately in which problems brought to my attention could be resolved quickly if a person were to just address it head on.  But instead, there just seems to be a trend of women choosing to skirt the issue, even gossip, instead of plainly speaking their concerns.

What the hell is that?  Can anything be resolved through mindless blather that amounts to not much more than whining?  It would be one thing if you are just venting to a friend, but if there is a very real concern or problem, what makes anyone think the solution is telling everyone BUT the person who can solve the issue?

There is a common saying in social media now, especially with the political hamster wheel spinning faster, that says "people go out of their way to be offended".  Oh, how very true this is starting to ring for me.  It appears, women would rather be justified in being offended, than solve the issue head on.  It's as if the need to hear "you are right", "I agree", or some other form of commiseration, far outweighs just speaking up and resolving the problem.  Remaining a victim to unfairness or slight becomes the focus, instead of just fixing the problem and moving on.

Is the need to be the victim so great that we must engage in childish behaviors to perpetuate it?  Involving as many people as possible, so we can feel justified in our outrage, overshadowing the simplicity of just speaking up?  It seems silly, but then again, dramatic whining and perpetuating being a victim always has to me.

Perhaps I am too black and white in the issue.  Perhaps, even, I'm not understanding the sensitivities of those who find themselves offended so much of the time.  If I were to look at it more closely, I can see where some people take all things personally.  Whether it be in business setting, through social media, in their daily lives.  If they are being spoken to in any way, shape, or form, they believe it is a discussion that relates directly to them as a person. 

In that case, I definitely can not spend my life tiptoeing cautiously to be sure that one little word perceived the wrong way will cause yet another round of taking it personally.  I just don't work that way, especially with speaking freely being so much a part of my core.  I have to ask myself if I want to constantly be drawn into other people's insecurities, allowing the negativity it brings into my world?  The answer is a solid no.

So, if you find yourself continually offended, slighted, or even complaining about the same ills of the world over and over and over, I challenge you to look first at yourself.  This goes not only for any strange little dramas occurring in your life, but also your reactions to just life in general.  Because it all ties in together, if you look at it carefully.  If you negatively view the world, it's ills, the social crises of the time as you perceive them, you will also bring that negativity into your own inner circle of the world.  Everything will become a slight, an offense, and paranoia of every last word being some kind of statement against you.  

The blame I hold in these various dramas as of late, is not speaking up.  Not speaking freely.  Not being who I am.  And why did I refrain?  For fear of offending.  For fear of someone taking it personally.  The very thing that this obviously has taught me I have no control over.

Shame on me.

The Grey World Around You

In the last 24 hours, while you perused inflammatory Facebook posts, a child went to bed hungry.  An elderly nursing home resident was mistreated.  A woman was raped.  A man assaulted his wife.  Plenty of intoxicated people got behind the wheel of a car.  Someone abused and tortured an animal for the sheer pleasure of it.

You get the picture.

Passions have certainly run high lately with the release of super-top-secret-shocking Planned Parenthood videos.  Videos that (gasp) have outraged the populace into screeching their battle cry of "Save The Babies!". 

I'm not even going to get into the obvious flaws in these videos, such as taking into consideration the source, editing, or the agenda behind them.  It is fruitless when trying to rationalize with those whose convictions have no room for the grey areas of reality.

I used to be a black and white thinker.  I stubbornly had no room for the grey.  And then, through the debating groups that brought me my closest and dearest friends, I started to view and understand the world through other people's eyes.  Vastly different viewpoints, some of which seemed to go against everything I believed, opened up the world for me.  I was forced into fact checking, researching, and hearing first hand accounts of people who had experienced that which I had formed an opinion about.  Suddenly, the world stopped being black and white.

Should we be shocked the Planned Parenthood videos have been released just as an election season cycle begins to warm up?  Absolutely not.  Because this is not actually video that is only about whether an organization has broken the laws regarding fetal tissue donation.  It is much more than that, and every outcry and denunciation of Planned Parenthood proves that. 

It is about abortion.

One of the greyest topics out there. 

You would think labels of "pro-life" and "pro-choice" could actually be pretty black and white, but they are not.  Not even close.

So, putting aside the laws clearly written in regards to fetal tissue donation, let's discuss what is really going on here.  This isn't about whether someone has broken the law.  This isn't about the choice of words by an employee in a large organization.  This isn't about medical research that has benefited millions.  This is about babies.

Save the babies.  What is that, anyway?  Is it really about the babies?  Or is it about birth?  Because I don't really see people giving much of a shit beyond the exit point.

But, I'm jumping ahead of myself.  Let's start with pregnancy.

Our law of the land says I have the right to decide what to do with my pregnancy.  Fantastic.  I can pop out 19 kids and throw them on national television.  I can undergo fertility treatments and end up with six of those suckers at once, or select to only have three, two, or one.  I can choose any number of methods of preventing even one of those little boogers from popping out of me like an alien life form.  I can choose to not prevent anything, leave it all in the hands of a deity, and have a 40 week surprise party thrown for me.

It's pretty fabulous knowing I have all these choices.  These choices to have, or not have.  The choices to limit, or not limit.  I'm thankful the laws of our land can not tell me how, when, the number of times, or where I reproduce.  And with those laws, brings another.  The choice to terminate.

Yes, it would be a wonderful world indeed if the need to terminate a pregnancy did not exist.  But, regardless of the laws of our great land, that situation will always arise.  Whether it's through the horrors of abuse or rape, the heartbreak of medical issues, or something as simple as the wrong time, there will always be women facing the reality of not wanting to give birth to a child.  We could try to regulate that with laws, but it would be to no avail.  And enter, our right, guaranteed to each and every womb carrier, termination.

Forcing a woman to carry an unwanted pregnancy is not only a ludicrous statement, it's a dangerous one.  First of all, it would promote women trying to self-abort, in unsafe, unsanitary conditions.  The mental health ramifications are astronomical, in a country that is already horribly failing in their mental health services.  How far would it be taken?  Would women find all of their privacy and freedoms taken away just so the powers that be can rest assured that she is incubating as they see fit?  Where does it stop?  If we legislate pregnancy (and let's be honest, outlawing abortion is exactly that) where does the legislating stop?  Will we allow our government to start choosing the types of birth control they deem appropriate?  Will the choices of preventing a pregnancy be limited to less effective ways?  Also, can ALL pregnancies be dictated and outlined then?  Will we allow a government state that tells us how to treat each pregnancy, dictate nutritional guidelines, medical care, and exactly how to give birth?  Is THAT the goal when saying we need to outlaw abortion?  It's not a far reach.  Once you allow our great nation to dictate one choice, others can (and do) easily follow.

The second grey area of abortion, the really BIG one, is what happens if we force women to give birth to unwanted children.  Obviously, a woman who did not want the pregnancy in the first place is going to have very little chance of a change of heart.  I know I certainly don't want that type of parent raising a child.  We can cry out for all those desperate parents out there wanting a baby and looking to adopt.  And don't get me wrong, adoption is a fantastic option for people unable to have children.  An expensive and lengthy option.  An option couples have to qualify for, not only financially, but emotionally, and proving they are deemed healthy enough to adopt and raise a child.  And let's be honest about people's intentions here...will children born of a different race, or born with birth defects or health issues be adopted quite so easily, were all these restrictions to be taken away?  Some yes.  All?  No.

That leaves the foster care system. An already overtaxed and failing system.  Not exactly the life of prosperity I would hope for children to have.  Not when it's already filled with children coming from neglectful or abusive homes.  If the system is suddenly flooded with infants, in all reality, what hope is there for the older children, many with emotional and behavioral problems?  It's a terrible analogy, but fitting, when I just point out exactly what happens at an animal shelter.  Everyone oohs and aaahs over the babies...the kittens and puppies are adopted out first.  Then, you see the designer doggies and purebreds finding homes.  It can make you cringe to think of it that way, but it is a harsh reality of the world. 

The third grey area of abortion is the almighty dollar.  Putting aside the mental health services we would need to expand on, let's look at social services.  Forcing children to be born into poverty is going to make each and every one of us need to open up our already stretched wallets even more.  Instead of the battle cries to limit and reduce our welfare system, we will need to be prepared to expand it even more.  Raising a child is not cheap, and if we are forcing every pregnant woman out there to carry her pregnancy to term, we have to be willing to financially support every single poverty level woman and child through pregnancy and the following 18 years.  This not only includes food and shelter, but basic medical needs, education, and any services needed because of disability.

I have yet, in 43 years of living on this earth, heard any rational solution to these grey areas.  Especially in today's political climate.  Especially a solution that does not take away the control each and every one of us has over our own being. 

And that's what it boils down to in the labels of "pro-life" and "pro-choice".   Pro-life is really nothing more than pro-birth.  We can ignore the ramifications of forced pregnancy and forced birth and not offer up any solutions in regards to the mental and financial problems it would create, but that's not really a concern for ALL life.  Only the perceived life of one, and only for a short amount of time.  The long term is not considered, nor does it appear to be a concern.

Quite frankly, I believe we are ALL pro-choice.  Just as one woman wants the choices granted to her to NOT become pregnant, NOT carry a pregnancy, another woman wants to exercise her right to get pregnant.  As many times as she would like.  She would like to have the choices to carry her pregnancy on her own terms, under her own medical decisions, and birth in the way she is most comfortable choosing.  She would also like to raise that child in the way she chooses.  Health choices, educational choices, financial choices. 

Choices are a grand thing.  And in the meantime, as we rant and rave about these choices that all women have regarding their ability to reproduce, we can forget and ignore the atrocities faced by the millions of people already right here, right now.  I choose not to.

Faux Slacker

I went four months without blogging.  Certainly not because random trains of thought stopped coming to me.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  But this little thing called real life just kept getting in the way.

You see, my husband and I decided it would be fun to destroy our house.  Not a single year goes by without some kind of project being put on THE LIST, and this year, it was a whopper.

After a mild winter that still had us feeling the drafts, seeing the frost on the windows, and noticing the peeling away of the exterior, we knew we could no longer ignore the outside of the house.  So, windows, doors, and an entire new facelift of new siding got put on the honey-do list.

We are avid DIY-ers, and this little chore is no different.  I've made some foolish decisions, like keeping both my 110 year old cottage windows that are irreplaceable, and though I may occasionally shake my head at their draftiness, I will be glad I kept one small piece of original construction.  I also HAD to have the antique door with the leaded glass that looks like a cobweb, which isn't really a security minded door, but I will smile every time I look at it.

I am a detail oriented brain, and a project this large makes me an indecisive twit.  I can quickly decide that white siding is what I want, but ask me if I'd like shutters and I still, two months later, can't decide if I want to refinish the old shutters or go with all new.  I know I want a front porch built, but the size of said porch has changed four times.  Point out our front door is not quite centered on the house, and I'm now the proud owner of an unfinished sidelight.  A sidelight I can not decide on a framing style for.  A sidelight that will be installed with the door in the next couple of weeks, that I am still clueless on.  I am reusing our house numbers, but can't decide how to refinish them, or if I want them framed in some way.  I still have not decided on a new exterior light.

I keep telling myself I have time to make these decisions, because there's still SO much work to do.  This weekend, we tear apart the bottom two feet of the siding to determine what kind of damage or repair work needs to be done to the foundation.  I'm convincing myself that with penny pinching previous owners, there will be plenty for us to work on before these decisions have to be made.  But as the sides of the house progress, and I leave for work each morning seeing the front, I am reminded that all these decisions relating to the front of the house will need to be made before we can even begin to prepare it for the new siding.

Is it terrible to consider that extensive foundation work could mean the budget runs tight, and then perhaps I can avoid making a decision on a front porch until next year? 

And is it awful to avoid thinking about our DIY weekend warrior title also means we are only working on Saturdays?  And refuse to look at a calendar to see how many Saturdays are left before weather prohibits us from doing any more work?

At what point is all this avoidance going to bite a big chunk out of my ass?

Amazingly enough, I am not drinking heavily through all of this.  Probably because I've been working too hard to think about pouring a frosty cold one.

All I know, is I've got a great tan from constantly working outside.  And I love my new windows that I can open and close with one hand.  And I have calluses on my hands that I've never had before.

And in two days, another Saturday will have come and gone.

Nope.  Not going to think about it.

You're Doing It Wrong

August...ahhh, the dog days of summer.  When it's finally blistering hot and you realize it's nearly time for those offspring to go back to school.

Just 10 days to go, and I will be sending one off to his final (half) year of high school, and one will begin her 3rd year of college.

And apparently, I'm doing it wrong.

I don't feel weepy.  There is no heart tugs of nostalgia where I pull out those first day of school pictures with backpacks strapped on that look bigger than their tiny little bodies.

Nope, I'm celebrating.

I'm also procrastinating.

I could do that online registration for high school.  But I'm also considering what a pain in the ass it is, considering nothing has changed for the last 13 years we've been living in this school district.  I've considered not even bothering with the registration, and seeing if they even notice he's attending school.  Or perhaps, as a final hurrah of it being the final registration, informing them he now speaks exclusively Vietnamese and will need a translator. 

I could fill out the same child's early graduation request.  I should be more than eager to complete that paperwork, but if he hasn't registered, does it even count?  It also makes me cranky, because though he will have met his core curriculum requirements within the first nine weeks of school, he will be stuck filling his remaining time at this school with "fluff" classes, because he still won't quite have the credits he needs to graduate.  Apparently, having double the credits needed in Math and Science doesn't mean squat if you haven't completed the proper amount of electives.  I'm sure he'll enjoy picking between a ceramics class and automotives where he can be told what a gas cap looks like.

Deep down I know I will give in at some point and do as I'm told.  I will dot all the I's and cross all the T's, because it will hopefully give a guarantee that he can finally be done with this hoorah by mid-January.  Though I'm still stubbornly holding out on the mandatory laptops provided by the school.  Quite frankly, I don't want to have to keep an additional laptop in this house, and I find the whole concept ridiculous when my son already owns a laptop.

I also have no college student to move back in a flurry of activity and overwhelming stress.  She has already "officially" moved out of our home, after renting her own place this last spring.  I no longer spend summers with random piles of girl crap, stray bobby pins, or the piles of shit that fit in a dorm room, but don't fit in our home. 

Within a month of her move, I was painting her bedroom and transforming it into my own personal "zen den", which also meant not leaving any sleeping space.  I did not weep, or feel sad.  I enjoy that space quite often...it is my version of a "man cave" in which I shamelessly enjoy time all to myself doing whatever I wish, surrounded by random things that bring me peace and joy. 

Pure Zen

I do not dread the day we cart our son off to college.  I revel in the idea of endless nights of freely choosing my activities, only being responsible for my own meals, all messes being solely my own.

I do not fear the quiet.

And it WILL be quiet.  With a husband on the road all week, it will be just me and the cat.  And I can look forward to a grocery bill that will be cut in half, slow internet that will not be shared with anyone else, expanding my social outings if I wish, and tackling projects instead of cooking dinner as soon as I get home from work.

I can do whatever the hell I want.  And the thought of that is exciting...not depressing.

I am about to turn 44 years old.  My oldest turns 21 this year.  I have spent nearly half my life parenting, and I am ok with this stage of my life nearing an end.   I am beyond thrilled to become an empty nester.  Because there will be nothing "empty" about it.  It will be filled with excitement, adventures, and a fulfilling new stage of life.  I will enjoy seeing what the future holds for my children, but I will not be hanging on tight, bemoaning a quiet house. 

I've said it before.  Perhaps the mother gene skipped a generation.  Because I see the posts, I hear the talk.  The people shedding a tear for the years going by.  Dreading when the house is empty.  And just as they may not understand my excitement, I don't understand their sadness. 

Am I doing it wrong?

My happiness with life says no.