Crazy Gadget Girl

 

How on earth did our ancestors survive with just a fire and sticks shaped like spoons?  Had they known the technology that would come from the invention of that little thing called electricity, would they have refused to gut that rabbit with their bare hands until the mister got them an electric carving knife?

I don't have an electric carving knife, by the way.

Time for the second half of the gadget review...at least, until I go shopping and find more discarded treasures that will make my cooking life easier.  

VERISMO MILK FROTHER

5/5 STARS

This magical milk machine arrived with the Starbucks Verismo coffee machine.  The machine had multitudes of problems, such as a hatred of well water, only able to use Starbucks Verismo pods, and that problem that all pod machines have...it only made one cup at a time.  But I loved that machine until my tree hugging heart started contemplating how much waste it created.  So, back to the drip coffeemaker and steam driven espresso machines.  HOWEVER, the Verismo milk steamer was a keeper, even if my black little heart that loves black coffee doesn't use it much.  Why?  Because you literally plug it in, pour in milk to the designated line, and hit a button.  And when it beeps you've got yourself a pitcher of perfect steamed milk.  And the best part?  That steamed milk is topped by an absolute PERFECT mound of milk froth.  And let me tell ya, the FROTH is what makes your frou frou drink extra bougie.    As long as I'm pouring coffee down my gullet, I'll own this thing.

    KITCHEN SHEARS

                    

5/5 STARS

This one started out as a joke, but not quite kidding.  I caught my spouse using my regular scissors for food related items, and after thinking of all the things my scissors had touched, I was kind of grossed out.  So, his Christmas stocking a couple years ago had these kitchen shears in it.  And now with me doing all the cooking, they are invaluable.  Get yourself some and quit using your regular scissors, sicko.

PINEAPPLE CORER

5/5 STARS

I have to be honest.  I've never used this gadget.  But the pineapple king that I'm married to, was with me in HomeGoods perusing the kitchen utensil aisle, and jumped on this immediately.  I don't eat fresh pineapple, but he LOVES it, so this tool had to come home with us.  And the first time he used it, his face lit up like a little kid, so I'd say it's a keeper.  It makes carving out that pineapple easy peasy and done within a few short minutes.  If you're a pineapple freak, get yourself one.

MICROPLANE

5/5 STARS

I'll admit, I initially bought this for the sole purpose of zesting fruit.  But then, I realized it can save the hassle of chop chop chop on things like garlic and ginger.  Not that I don't love me some chop chop chop, but sometimes I'm in a hurry and don't want to bother with dicing things into the smallest size possible.  Considering I use this every week, I'd say it was a good buy.  And I even paid retail!

NINJA FOODI

5/5 STARS

I will be honest and say I've only used this once.  But, my son ended up getting rid of this, and after it sat in my store for awhile, I thought, hey, I think I'll give this a try to have some healthier options for cooking.  This little powerhouse handled a stuffed chicken breast dish like a champ, and what really shocked me was how quickly it cooked the chicken perfectly without drying anything out.  Because overcooked chicken is gross.  But MY chicken was not.  I've got a bunch of recipes waiting for this thing, so it will get more use.  The only thing a bit annoying about it is it's huge, clunky size.  It couldn't go in the gadget cabinet because the shelves weren't high enough.  And that tests my OCD brain a wee bit, but I'll get over it.

PANINI PRESS

5/5 STARS

Is a panini grill really one of those necessary gadgets?  Considering my kids always loved my pan cooked grilled cheese, I'd say I could do without this.  But I don't want to.  Because a panini is not a grilled cheese.  Anyone with half a palate knows that.  And it makes a perfect grilled sandwich with perfect grill marks.  And if you have a gadget cabinet, it won't matter that it's taking up room.

ELECTRIC KETTLE

5/5 STARS

Again, one of those gadgets you don't actually NEED.  I don't even drink tea, so why do I have this?  I don't remember why I bought this particular gadget, but I've used it more since moving here than the entire time combined before moving.  It's made hot cocoa for the guy that was freezing his butt off removing snow off the driveway, and has given me perfectly hot water to steep chiles in for a to die for birria ramen dish.  And hey, I've got that gadget cupboard so it's not in the way.

HAND MIXER

5/5 STARS

Finally a gadget that nearly every household has.  But I didn't.  When we were packing to move, my spouse pulled out the old hand mixer that was at least a decade old, and decided we needed a new one so in the trash it went.  So with all my cooking and baking fantasies, I was about to make THE perfect chocolate cake.  BUT the reason it's a perfect chocolate cake has something to do with the mixing.  You see, it's a recipe that actually calls for you to dump all the ingredients in a bowl at once.  No sifting or slowly adding dry ingredients.  BUT YOU MUST MIX IT FOR THREE MINUTES ON HIGH.  No hand mixing, because I actually tried that once, and the cake just wasn't quite as good.  So off to Target I ran, and got an education in hand mixers.  Gone are the days of the cheap $10 mixer.  Hell, I even looked at a $60 hand mixer that didn't look any different than the others sitting on the shelf.  And now they have this thing on the bottom to hold the beaters.  Which, is mildly convenient, but on the other hand, getting the cord back into that holder while the beaters are in it is a bit of a struggle.  But I tend to struggle a wee bit anyway, so at least I amuse myself.  

THE KNIFE

5/5 STARS

And FINALLY, (until I go shopping), the one absolute must have in the kitchen.  A good chef's knife.  Really, don't settle for average.  Get yourself a good one.  This particular style of knife is the only one I will use for the chop chop chop.  It is weighted perfectly and fits my hand like it was made for it.  This is the second one I've owned in 20 years, after the first one finally started loosening at the handle at about the 17 year mark.  Yes, it's that fantastic of a knife.  No respectable cook should be without this kind of knife.  And don't order one online.  Actually take yourself into a nifty kitchen store or gadget aisle, and pick up the knives to see how they feel in your hand.  Not all knives are created equal, and not all hands are the same.  But I can chop chop chop to my hearts content with this sucker.

PHEW...there's the gadget list.  At least up until this particular point, because I'm sure I'm going to spy more that I think I need as I'm out and about perusing kitchen wares.  And now I'm hungry.

New Horizons

 I don't think we're in Iowa anymore, Toto.

Having visited Wyoming prior to moving here, I felt I knew what to expect.  But this state just keeps surprising me.  To make sure this was where we wanted to move, we took a long weekend trip here last fall, and I joined multiple Facebook groups about life here, and for those who were thinking of making the move.  Hubby was all in from the start, but my little planning brain needed to gather as much information as possible before the move actually happened.  

The first thing I kept seeing on all the message boards, was anyone wanting to move here should visit in winter.  Over and over, there were cautionary tales of brutal winters, and the long, cold months could weed out the best of them.  So, when we arrived here at the beginning of December, I was convinced we'd be snowbound and end up eating the birds and squirrels in the yard just to survive.

While Iowa has been slammed with blizzards and snowfall, we've gotten a few inches of snow here and there.  And it's BEAUTIFUL snow.  Sometimes it comes with wind, but hell, Iowa was windy what seemed like ALL the time, which I suppose is why the entire state seems to be nothing but wind turbines now.  The big difference here?  Altitude and sun.  Yup, altitude, which was one of the things that surprised me.  Elevation in our city is just over 6000 feet.  Higher than Denver.  And though I knew that before we actually moved, living in it is where it's been surprising.  That sun is SO WARM.  Just this morning, after about 3-4 inches of snow yesterday, our temps started the day at about 5 degrees, and though it's now only 30, the sun is so bright and warm, the snow is melting, and a light jacket almost felt like too much.  And whereas Iowa winters can see days and days without sun, (I seem to remember one particularly brutal stretch of several weeks) the sun shines here the majority of the time.  

I'm no newbie to harsh winters, and I know we will get ours here at some point.  But any bad weather just doesn't seem to last very long, and that warm sunshine hug is always right around the corner.  Now granted, the flip side of that is our city seems to go with that warming, melting trend and NOT plow any snow.  I have only seen a plow ONCE since living here, and it was dropping sand.  And if I'm going to be honest, it actually could have just been a sand truck, because I can't say I noticed a blade in front of it.  That makes for some VERY interesting driving, especially if you get a childish thrill out of tearing around in fresh snow, but coming from a state with endless salt stains all over the road (and your car and clothes) I have to say I almost prefer these roads.  As long as I don't need to travel out of town, because now I completely understand the barricades I always saw on the interstate.  Yes, they shut down, and for good reason.  Out there in the open, the roads can be BRUTAL.

Wildlife.  Take a drive in any direction and you'll see wildlife.  This is also open range country, so those ranches raising cattle do not have them penned into a small space to squeeze as much cropland as possible out of their acres.  It's spread out, with happy cows.  How do I know they're happy?  I've eaten them, and it made me smile.  I've been told the pronghorn had suffered a large kill due to disease in recent years, so there's not as many, but I see those happy little butts running every time I leave town.  Just south of us, we have a MASSIVE buffalo ranch, and though it would be much cooler to see them roaming free, I'll take it until we can take a weekend trip up to Yellowstone.  And don't even get me started on the prairie dogs.  Those chirping little rodents are adorable, but when I seem them just a hop away from someone's house, I wonder how fun THAT must be...NOT.  It definitely makes me glad to be living in the middle of the city.   I can't wait for spring so we can venture into the back roads even more, as the surrounding areas have coyote, elk, occasionally a wandering moose, mink, and all kinds of birds and animals native to the west.  AND most importantly, NO PIGS. Or their smell.

Mountains.  I can read a map.  I know, being in the southeast corner of the state meant a large amount of wide open areas.  In fact, I did initially think it was going to be similar to the flat landscape of Eastern Colorado.  And it is, to an extent.  BUT, wander to any elevated part of the city and look west or south, and you'll see hints of mountains, especially on a clear day.  Because you know, mountains are big.  So you can see them from quite a distance.  Of course, it's not huge monoliths blocking out the sun...you have to take a drive to see that.  But the drive is no longer 15+ hours.  45 minutes southwest and we're in Estes Park, Colorado.  Take a day trip north and you're at Devil's Tower.   Take one south and there's Pikes Peak.  Take a weekend trip and we can be anywhere from Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, Moab.  Just a wee bit further and you're in Canada, Zion, Glacier NP.   And even closer are state forests and recreational areas all around us.

Rocks.  That's how I knew I had found my home.  I've always been a wee bit obsessed with rocks.  I'd pick up any interesting ones, building a rock garden at my home in Iowa, and collecting them in dishes in the house.  Sometimes, I was worse than a little kid shoving them in my pockets.  But then I moved here, and it's a rock lovers dream.  There are large rock formations everywhere.  Maybe it's that feeling of seeing something that you know has been untouched by humans, but it feels sacred.   It brings a sense of calm and peace, and I'm absolutely in love with my surroundings.  

Sunrises.  Yes, we have great sunsets too, but the sunrises.  Oh lordy, I haven't even taken an early morning drive outside of the city to watch one yet.  But watching the sky light up every morning hasn't gotten old yet.  We have sunrises I'm used to, of just the typical lighting up of the sky.  But then there's the colorful ones.  Where the sky looks like it's on fire, or what I call the cotton candy sunrises.  They're breathtaking, and my hubby loves sending me the ones he sees when he goes to work early in the morning.  I have even made sure to make a perfect early morning coffee spot in one of the rooms of the house, because it has a perfect sunrise viewing window.  I don't think it will ever get old.

This state is stunning.  We haven't even made it to the far corners to see the sights all the tourists flock to.  Just our little corner of it has a beauty I was not expecting.  And though I heard all the endless talk of farmers feeding the country, blah blah blah, there's something to be said for clear air and the beauty of a land where the wide open spaces don't include any commerce.  Did seeing this is the least populated state in the nation factor in to the decision to move here?  Yes.  But little did I know what that actually meant until I arrived.  And there's a recurring theme joked (maybe not joked) about...does Wyoming exist?  Well, let me just say, for the sake of keeping those wide open spaces open, NO, it does not.

Gadget Hoarding

Do you find yourself wandering the kitchen aisles of HomeGoods for the sheer pleasure of it?

Perhaps it's because I've doubled my cabinet space with this new house.  Maybe it's a lack of hobbies.  Maybe it's the dreams of becoming the next Gordon Ramsey.  Scratch that...I have dreams involving Gordon but it's got nothing to do with cooking.  

Whatever the reason, I'm obsessed with all those nifty little things hanging on hooks and sitting on shelves in those kitchen aisles.  And because I'm allergic to paying retail, I keep a mental list of the gadgets I would like to find while thrifting.  Fortunately, with it being February, thrift stores are filling with all those Christmas gifts people can toss now that the gifter has gone home after overstaying their welcome.  

Perhaps I should use logic and ask myself why these magical gadgets are ending up in charity shops.  If they're really so magical, wouldn't they still have a place of honor in their recipient's home?  

NOT THE POINT.  Logic is for wussies.  All I know is thrifting is so much fun this time of year, seeing what ungrateful shits have tossed because they're still subscribing to that Marie Kondo bullshit.  

What IS the point?  I've digressed into the joys of after holiday thrifting when this is actually about GADGETS.  Did I say how much I love gadgets?  All those neat little things you didn't know you needed in order to make the perfect box of Kraft macaroni and cheese.  So, before I digress further, here are my honest reviews, cautions, raves, and general useless thoughts on the gadgets I've collected so far.

HERB THINGY

0/5 STARS

I'd call this an herb stripper, because that IS what it is supposed to do, but that sounds like the name of an Only Fans account held by someone with a mullet, so NO.  Whatever its name, it is supposed to make the chore of getting your fresh herbs off their stems so much simpler.  I call BULLSHIT.  If you're semi-skilled with a knife, there's no need for this thing.  And, minus a few mishaps with fingernails getting in the way, I do have some knife skills *insert evil grin*.   Don't bother with one of these ridiculous things.  I only still have it because it's a gadget, and my brain apparently has a problem with actually throwing a gadget away.  Better yet, I should donate it to Goodwill.  I have nothing else to donate at the moment, so walking up to the drop off doors with this four inch gadget in my hands might make me a bit of a weirdo, but I'm used to people thinking that.  OR, even more fun, I could keep this gadget in my pocket while I'm thrifting, and just throw it on the shelf with the rest of the unwanted and misfit gadgets.  Either way, I'm glad I didn't pay much for this colossal waste of time.

MAGICAL GARLIC CHOPPER

3/5 STARS

The picture of this shows it upside down, because in it's rightful state, it's obscure and looks like a child's toy.  But easy peasy if you want to rest your knife skills for a day.  You just peel your garlic clove, slap it over the grid, and SMACK that lid down and it shoves perfectly diced garlic into the clear bowl underneath.  Granted, it will live a productive life longer if you don't actually SMACK that lid down, but that's part of the fun.  And since nearly every recipe I cook calls for garlic these days, I was thrilled to find this hanging on a hook at TJMaxx.  Yup, paid retail for this little guy, and I'm glad I did after seeing how joyful it is to clean this.  *eyeroll*  Unless I've made a gigantor mess prepping food through the day, my spouse does the cleanup, and he occasionally doesn't get this little thing quite clean enough.  In fact, I'd say anyone who owns one of these needs to have some toothpicks on hand, because that's the only way you're going to get your garlic mush out from between those little teeth.  And if you don't get every last speck of that mush out, you're gonna notice a bit of a garlic funk going on the next time you use it.  All in all, it's a nifty little gadget, but a bit time intensive to clean.  And you have to ask yourself which you enjoy more...the SMACK, or the mind numbing task of chop chop chop.  As much as I love a good smack, I love the chop chop chop a bit more.  

BLENDER/FOOD PROCESSOR

UNKNOWN BUT IT LOOKS COOL

My blender went with my daughter when she moved, and my food processor collected dust until each Christmas when I'd use it to whip up one dip for crackers.  Yes, I had an entire bulky food processor, complete with attachments I never used, just to make a cream cheese dip.  But hey, that thing was only $30 at Hellmart 20 years ago, so I wasn't complaining.  HOWEVER, with much more cooking being done, I pulled that Hellmart cheapie out to whip up a marinade a couple weeks ago.  And I successfully marinated the countertops and all the cabinets within three feet of me.  YES, I used that stupid guard that's supposed to keep your contents from spraying everywhere, but apparently, when you spend $30 on an small appliance at Hellmart two decades ago, you can't expect professional results.  So, this beauty sat in a second hand store, still with what I thought of as a hefty price tag, but then after a quick check online, I saw how expensive they are.  So, here sits my new blender, and it's pretty little food processor attachments are stowed away in one of those many cabinets I now have (one of which is exclusively a gadget cabinet can I get an amen and hallelujah)  It seemed like it had never been used, and still had all it's paperwork, which I perused the other day and saw in the back....a recipe for a coffee smoothie.  A COFFEE SMOOTHIE.  Well, hell yes, let's try that little sucker out!  I got all the ingredients in that thing, fired it up, and all was good.  And the moment I lifted it, coffee smoothie came pouring out all over the counter, and then all over the floor as I raced to get it into the sink.  Because in my eagerness for a coffee smoothie, I didn't bother making sure it was actually put together correctly, and the base was not screwed on tight.  Obviously, my head is not screwed on tight either.  But, after a large amount of time spent cleaning floors and countertops, it got screwed on properly, I put some water in it (smart cookie), ran it, and all seems good.  Have I used it since?  No.  But just talking about that coffee smoothie has me thinking I may just try this baby out again today.

SINGLE SERVE BLENDER

5/5 STARS

I love this little powerhouse of a blender.  My bestie got me hooked on smoothies to get my morning started (or a boost when you forget to eat in the morning).  She is a ferocious little beast.  (the blender, not the bestie, though she's pretty fierce herself)  After a couple years of nearly daily use, she still grinds up whatever you shove in her.  Kinda like me if you piss me off.  Or....wait...this is getting weird.  Anyway, I'm sure there's some who would say that to prevent gadget hoarding, this could replace several of the other gadgets I have for chopping/processing/blending, but this is my smoothie blender and NOTHING ELSE TOUCHES IT.  Weird?  I. Don't. Care.

MINI FOOD PROCESSOR

5/5 STARS

YES, yet another gadget for blending.  But this wee little thing is just too cute.  And since it's cute AND doesn't take up much room, why the hell not?  Actually, as long as you are aware of volume, it's perfect for making sauces.  Notice I said aware of volume?  Because I'm not, and I had this little cutie pie filled to the rim with more ingredients waiting before I realized I had screwed up.  BUT, as long as you are a little more spacially aware than I am, this is a keeper for those homemade sauces.  Plus, it's cute, and these are all over the thrift stores.  I think I only paid $3 for mine.

THE COOL HAND BLENDER

5/5 STARS JUST FOR THE COOL FACTOR

So this is where that after Christmas thrift find thing comes in.  Brand new in the box, with a price tag of $6, so how could I resist?  I've always wanted one.  Why?  I don't know.  It seems cool.  Maybe to blend a soup.  Have I blended a soup ever in my life? Maybe?  I have a vague memory of doing something like that, but honestly, it's probably just me remembering a cooking show.  AND if you look at that fine print, it says "with chopper".  DON'T COME AT ME WITH YOUR LOGIC.  I'm keeping it.  It gets a 5 out of 5 only because I thought it was a cool find.  SHUT UP.

EGG COOKER FOR THE EGG COOKING INEPT

5/5 STARS (I assume)

Packing up a house you lived in for 20 years is NOT FUN.  And since the kitchen and bathrooms are usually done just prior to moving, you just don't pay much attention other than making sure things won't break on the long journey.  So, when I began unpacking all those kitchen boxes and bins, and realized all the room I have for my gadgets, I suddenly wondered where my magical egg cooker went.  Now before I get made fun of, I can whip up an omelet, cook an egg over easy, but it's that boiling that gets me every time.  Hard boiled, soft, doesn't matter...can't do it.  I stared at my daughter in awe the first time she made a perfect poached egg thinking there's no way a child of my loins should be capable of such a feat.  Why do I mention the princess of egg poaching?  Because when she moved, of course I cleaned out a whole plethora of things I thought was crowding my limited storage space.  BUT, being the Princess of Poaching, why would I give her an egg cooker???  So, again, thrifting, I found this one.  (And let me just give a side note that if it says Cuisinart or Ninja, I'm suddenly more interested.)  Because I am an OCD freak who unpacks 20 years worth of a house in four days, I knew I wasn't going to just magically find the old egg cooker, so this one came home with me.  Have I used it yet?  No.  But I will.  EVENTUALLY.  Again, just shut up with your logic.  And in the meantime, a conversation with Poaching Princess the other day informed me that YES, she has the egg cooker.  Needless to say, she doesn't need to use it to poach eggs.

So before this becomes the length of a novella, I'll continue the Great Gadget Reviews of 2024 another day.  Because, yes, there are MORE GADGETS.  PLENTY more.  AND there's more to be found.  Like that Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker that's new in the box sitting at my local Goodwill this very moment.  BYE!