Perhaps it's because I've doubled my cabinet space with this new house. Maybe it's a lack of hobbies. Maybe it's the dreams of becoming the next Gordon Ramsey. Scratch that...I have dreams involving Gordon but it's got nothing to do with cooking.
Whatever the reason, I'm obsessed with all those nifty little things hanging on hooks and sitting on shelves in those kitchen aisles. And because I'm allergic to paying retail, I keep a mental list of the gadgets I would like to find while thrifting. Fortunately, with it being February, thrift stores are filling with all those Christmas gifts people can toss now that the gifter has gone home after overstaying their welcome.
Perhaps I should use logic and ask myself why these magical gadgets are ending up in charity shops. If they're really so magical, wouldn't they still have a place of honor in their recipient's home?
NOT THE POINT. Logic is for wussies. All I know is thrifting is so much fun this time of year, seeing what ungrateful shits have tossed because they're still subscribing to that Marie Kondo bullshit.
What IS the point? I've digressed into the joys of after holiday thrifting when this is actually about GADGETS. Did I say how much I love gadgets? All those neat little things you didn't know you needed in order to make the perfect box of Kraft macaroni and cheese. So, before I digress further, here are my honest reviews, cautions, raves, and general useless thoughts on the gadgets I've collected so far.
HERB THINGY
0/5 STARS
I'd call this an herb stripper, because that IS what it is supposed to do, but that sounds like the name of an Only Fans account held by someone with a mullet, so NO. Whatever its name, it is supposed to make the chore of getting your fresh herbs off their stems so much simpler. I call BULLSHIT. If you're semi-skilled with a knife, there's no need for this thing. And, minus a few mishaps with fingernails getting in the way, I do have some knife skills *insert evil grin*. Don't bother with one of these ridiculous things. I only still have it because it's a gadget, and my brain apparently has a problem with actually throwing a gadget away. Better yet, I should donate it to Goodwill. I have nothing else to donate at the moment, so walking up to the drop off doors with this four inch gadget in my hands might make me a bit of a weirdo, but I'm used to people thinking that. OR, even more fun, I could keep this gadget in my pocket while I'm thrifting, and just throw it on the shelf with the rest of the unwanted and misfit gadgets. Either way, I'm glad I didn't pay much for this colossal waste of time.
MAGICAL GARLIC CHOPPER
3/5 STARS
The picture of this shows it upside down, because in it's rightful state, it's obscure and looks like a child's toy. But easy peasy if you want to rest your knife skills for a day. You just peel your garlic clove, slap it over the grid, and SMACK that lid down and it shoves perfectly diced garlic into the clear bowl underneath. Granted, it will live a productive life longer if you don't actually SMACK that lid down, but that's part of the fun. And since nearly every recipe I cook calls for garlic these days, I was thrilled to find this hanging on a hook at TJMaxx. Yup, paid retail for this little guy, and I'm glad I did after seeing how joyful it is to clean this. *eyeroll* Unless I've made a gigantor mess prepping food through the day, my spouse does the cleanup, and he occasionally doesn't get this little thing quite clean enough. In fact, I'd say anyone who owns one of these needs to have some toothpicks on hand, because that's the only way you're going to get your garlic mush out from between those little teeth. And if you don't get every last speck of that mush out, you're gonna notice a bit of a garlic funk going on the next time you use it. All in all, it's a nifty little gadget, but a bit time intensive to clean. And you have to ask yourself which you enjoy more...the SMACK, or the mind numbing task of chop chop chop. As much as I love a good smack, I love the chop chop chop a bit more.
BLENDER/FOOD PROCESSOR
UNKNOWN BUT IT LOOKS COOL
My blender went with my daughter when she moved, and my food processor collected dust until each Christmas when I'd use it to whip up one dip for crackers. Yes, I had an entire bulky food processor, complete with attachments I never used, just to make a cream cheese dip. But hey, that thing was only $30 at Hellmart 20 years ago, so I wasn't complaining. HOWEVER, with much more cooking being done, I pulled that Hellmart cheapie out to whip up a marinade a couple weeks ago. And I successfully marinated the countertops and all the cabinets within three feet of me. YES, I used that stupid guard that's supposed to keep your contents from spraying everywhere, but apparently, when you spend $30 on an small appliance at Hellmart two decades ago, you can't expect professional results. So, this beauty sat in a second hand store, still with what I thought of as a hefty price tag, but then after a quick check online, I saw how expensive they are. So, here sits my new blender, and it's pretty little food processor attachments are stowed away in one of those many cabinets I now have (one of which is exclusively a gadget cabinet can I get an amen and hallelujah) It seemed like it had never been used, and still had all it's paperwork, which I perused the other day and saw in the back....a recipe for a coffee smoothie. A COFFEE SMOOTHIE. Well, hell yes, let's try that little sucker out! I got all the ingredients in that thing, fired it up, and all was good. And the moment I lifted it, coffee smoothie came pouring out all over the counter, and then all over the floor as I raced to get it into the sink. Because in my eagerness for a coffee smoothie, I didn't bother making sure it was actually put together correctly, and the base was not screwed on tight. Obviously, my head is not screwed on tight either. But, after a large amount of time spent cleaning floors and countertops, it got screwed on properly, I put some water in it (smart cookie), ran it, and all seems good. Have I used it since? No. But just talking about that coffee smoothie has me thinking I may just try this baby out again today.
SINGLE SERVE BLENDER
5/5 STARS
I love this little powerhouse of a blender. My bestie got me hooked on smoothies to get my morning started (or a boost when you forget to eat in the morning). She is a ferocious little beast. (the blender, not the bestie, though she's pretty fierce herself) After a couple years of nearly daily use, she still grinds up whatever you shove in her. Kinda like me if you piss me off. Or....wait...this is getting weird. Anyway, I'm sure there's some who would say that to prevent gadget hoarding, this could replace several of the other gadgets I have for chopping/processing/blending, but this is my smoothie blender and NOTHING ELSE TOUCHES IT. Weird? I. Don't. Care.
MINI FOOD PROCESSOR
5/5 STARS
YES, yet another gadget for blending. But this wee little thing is just too cute. And since it's cute AND doesn't take up much room, why the hell not? Actually, as long as you are aware of volume, it's perfect for making sauces. Notice I said aware of volume? Because I'm not, and I had this little cutie pie filled to the rim with more ingredients waiting before I realized I had screwed up. BUT, as long as you are a little more spacially aware than I am, this is a keeper for those homemade sauces. Plus, it's cute, and these are all over the thrift stores. I think I only paid $3 for mine.
THE COOL HAND BLENDER
5/5 STARS JUST FOR THE COOL FACTOR
So this is where that after Christmas thrift find thing comes in. Brand new in the box, with a price tag of $6, so how could I resist? I've always wanted one. Why? I don't know. It seems cool. Maybe to blend a soup. Have I blended a soup ever in my life? Maybe? I have a vague memory of doing something like that, but honestly, it's probably just me remembering a cooking show. AND if you look at that fine print, it says "with chopper". DON'T COME AT ME WITH YOUR LOGIC. I'm keeping it. It gets a 5 out of 5 only because I thought it was a cool find. SHUT UP.
EGG COOKER FOR THE EGG COOKING INEPT
5/5 STARS (I assume)
Packing up a house you lived in for 20 years is NOT FUN. And since the kitchen and bathrooms are usually done just prior to moving, you just don't pay much attention other than making sure things won't break on the long journey. So, when I began unpacking all those kitchen boxes and bins, and realized all the room I have for my gadgets, I suddenly wondered where my magical egg cooker went. Now before I get made fun of, I can whip up an omelet, cook an egg over easy, but it's that boiling that gets me every time. Hard boiled, soft, doesn't matter...can't do it. I stared at my daughter in awe the first time she made a perfect poached egg thinking there's no way a child of my loins should be capable of such a feat. Why do I mention the princess of egg poaching? Because when she moved, of course I cleaned out a whole plethora of things I thought was crowding my limited storage space. BUT, being the Princess of Poaching, why would I give her an egg cooker??? So, again, thrifting, I found this one. (And let me just give a side note that if it says Cuisinart or Ninja, I'm suddenly more interested.) Because I am an OCD freak who unpacks 20 years worth of a house in four days, I knew I wasn't going to just magically find the old egg cooker, so this one came home with me. Have I used it yet? No. But I will. EVENTUALLY. Again, just shut up with your logic. And in the meantime, a conversation with Poaching Princess the other day informed me that YES, she has the egg cooker. Needless to say, she doesn't need to use it to poach eggs.
So before this becomes the length of a novella, I'll continue the Great Gadget Reviews of 2024 another day. Because, yes, there are MORE GADGETS. PLENTY more. AND there's more to be found. Like that Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker that's new in the box sitting at my local Goodwill this very moment. BYE!
No comments:
Post a Comment