There have been alot of exciting and fantastic things going on in my life lately. However, the balance in the universe has brought some negatives, and instead of joining the hysterics and dramatics, I'm going to flick them off myself through writing, much as I would an annoying little bug.
I sometimes wonder if grown women miss the days of middle school angst, so feel the need to repeat it.
I have always been a firm believer, that if I personally have an issue with someone, I will speak to them. That is obvious, by speaking up on social media when I feel someone has crossed a line, and holds true in my personal relationships with family and friends. It can be tricky, and sometimes a delicate situation, but if it goes against my own integrity, beliefs, or even if something is being discussed that I have nothing positive to say, I will simply state my thoughts on the matter, the why, and make sure I am very clear in my thoughts.
But even I, who freely speaks my mind, have my limits. And one of those glaring boundaries is childish drama.
I've had several experiences lately in which problems brought to my attention could be resolved quickly if a person were to just address it head on. But instead, there just seems to be a trend of women choosing to skirt the issue, even gossip, instead of plainly speaking their concerns.
What the hell is that? Can anything be resolved through mindless blather that amounts to not much more than whining? It would be one thing if you are just venting to a friend, but if there is a very real concern or problem, what makes anyone think the solution is telling everyone BUT the person who can solve the issue?
There is a common saying in social media now, especially with the political hamster wheel spinning faster, that says "people go out of their way to be offended". Oh, how very true this is starting to ring for me. It appears, women would rather be justified in being offended, than solve the issue head on. It's as if the need to hear "you are right", "I agree", or some other form of commiseration, far outweighs just speaking up and resolving the problem. Remaining a victim to unfairness or slight becomes the focus, instead of just fixing the problem and moving on.
Is the need to be the victim so great that we must engage in childish behaviors to perpetuate it? Involving as many people as possible, so we can feel justified in our outrage, overshadowing the simplicity of just speaking up? It seems silly, but then again, dramatic whining and perpetuating being a victim always has to me.
Perhaps I am too black and white in the issue. Perhaps, even, I'm not understanding the sensitivities of those who find themselves offended so much of the time. If I were to look at it more closely, I can see where some people take all things personally. Whether it be in business setting, through social media, in their daily lives. If they are being spoken to in any way, shape, or form, they believe it is a discussion that relates directly to them as a person.
In that case, I definitely can not spend my life tiptoeing cautiously to be sure that one little word perceived the wrong way will cause yet another round of taking it personally. I just don't work that way, especially with speaking freely being so much a part of my core. I have to ask myself if I want to constantly be drawn into other people's insecurities, allowing the negativity it brings into my world? The answer is a solid no.
So, if you find yourself continually offended, slighted, or even complaining about the same ills of the world over and over and over, I challenge you to look first at yourself. This goes not only for any strange little dramas occurring in your life, but also your reactions to just life in general. Because it all ties in together, if you look at it carefully. If you negatively view the world, it's ills, the social crises of the time as you perceive them, you will also bring that negativity into your own inner circle of the world. Everything will become a slight, an offense, and paranoia of every last word being some kind of statement against you.
The blame I hold in these various dramas as of late, is not speaking up. Not speaking freely. Not being who I am. And why did I refrain? For fear of offending. For fear of someone taking it personally. The very thing that this obviously has taught me I have no control over.
Shame on me.
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