Death of a Shopaholic

I had these big ambitions to purge today.

Had.

I even had a mental picture.  Though admittedly, most of my thoughts come with mental pictures and mini movies running through my head of how things will be.

They're usually in the fantasy genre.

Because I was able to immediately think of a handful things that were no longer wanted, my brain somehow believed that meant a massive purge of belongings was going to happen.  However, when I made my way through closets, still only grasping the handful of things I had originally thought of, I began to see that I am a daydreamer.  By the time I made it to the jewelry, I was cackling like a madwoman, and the three necklaces that have made their way into my tote may not actually make it all the way to the store to be sold.

Have I finally made it to that stage in life where I actually LIKE everything I own?  My eyes scan the rooms of the house, and even with all the love for shopping, I can't imagine taking something off a wall and replacing it.  I may look like a candle hoarder with all the holders and stands placed throughout the house, but I LOVE my candles, and not a single one feels out of place or as if it does not belong.  Short of finding a comfy chair for a corner, I am content to wait a few years for new furniture.  After all, though the couch looks like it's seen better days, it's at that comfy, broken in point of knowing exactly how to welcome you into curling up with a good book.

However, if I am happy with the contents of closets, and the various items making this house a home, that really means I should stop shopping.  There, after all, is no reason to, right?

So, perhaps, this is the year to put shopping on the back burner.  Part of me wants to laugh hysterically at such a notion, but the reasonable adult in me realizes there just is not much reason to spend hours walking through stores when I don't NEED anything.

Off the top of my head, I can think of several items that it wouldn't hurt to buy.  New bath towels.  New sheets.  Paint.  And more paint.  Lots of paint.  I have several mental projects beginning to form for the coming year, so I suppose I could train a shopaholic brain to start focusing on using my time for painting, digging, and building instead of acquiring.

I'm scared.

I've never NOT shopped.  I hear the call of a sale from 100 miles away.  Shopping has become a way of relaxation.  Can it be possible for me to spend a day out with a shopping partner and merely enjoy looking at things and not buying them?  Does such a thing exist?

It may be that my mind is working too hard after a pitiful attempt to purge.  It could be procrastination of doing the weekly meal planning and making a grocery list.  Perhaps it's just an elaborate way to avoid laundry.

But there is a little voice in the back of head telling me that if I can't (or won't) purge, then maybe it's time to start focusing on other things.  Maybe that's easy to say because I missed this month's $1 sale at Goodwill.

I may be retiring the shopaholic in me.  Will she come out of retirement?  Stay tuned, and find out.