The great thing about online school registration is I don't have to go stand in line making small talk with strangers in a sweltering, stinky school just to tell the powers that be that yes, my child will show up there again. Pass Go. Collect $200.
The not so great thing about online school registration is it's easy to forget to do it.
School starts tomorrow.
Whoops.
So, I hopped online to get the process started, and realized there are alot more questions online than there are at the school handing over a check.
For instance, I could let them know my child changed his name. Or his sex. Or his race. Or his birthday. I briefly considered changing every single answer on that first page just to confuse them.
The second page is so we don't encounter any language barriers. Perhaps, in between 10th and 11th grade, our household decided that English would no longer be our primary language. Perhaps we decided to speak exclusively in Lao. Whatever that is. But it had a nice lilt to it, and again, the thought of counting down the days until someone actually noticed seemed appealing to me. I even briefly considered learning just a few random phrases in Lao, whatever that is, and answering the phone in the language if the school should call. Though it's a small enough school, I believe I probably know everyone in the administration office, but if I also changed my name, I could really start to have fun with this.
The third page dealt with health issues, and I considered letting them know that I'm not sure whether I'm bordering on random hysteria by this point, or if it's a serious mental illness developing from these hoops I'm jumping through. They didn't actually designate it was the student they wanted information on. That I know of, because to be honest, I wasn't reading everything carefully and pretty much just skimming questions at this point.
They even wanted insurance information, and I had a multiple choice of private, Medicaid, or our state program for children. I had to wonder about this one, because what's it really matter? Are they going to put the kids with private insurance in more danger because they think the insurance payouts are better? Here, kiddo, your locker is located next to the boiler with leaky pipes, and make sure mom gets a copy of that insurance card in here. And tell her to stop answering the phone in that weird language.
I can't even tell you what pages four, five, and six were about. I just remember clicking alot of "yes" and "I accept", but did consider typing in my name as "queen motherfucker" in the permission fields. Just to guarantee a call that I can answer in Lao.
In the meantime, the girl child is still working these double shifts, so because I do not want to be awake until 2AM tomorrow night packing her, I have assigned myself various packing chores of what I can stand to touch in her room. At least with college, it's not all about the registration, it's more about the check. As long as we hand that sucker over, she's good to go.
And yes, she needs to go.
The stacks of bins and boxes are getting higher, the random piles are growing, and I'm having to avert my eyes from the messes far more than my brain wants to allow. And let's not forget, in the world of Ms.WorkALot, there also needs to be the final goodbye time with local friends. It doesn't matter if she saw them two days ago, that was not goodbye, no way, no how. Final goodbye time has to take place as close as possible to actual moving time, or it does not count. Which happens to also be packing time. And final banking time. And final textbook ordering time. And final cleaning up the mess time. And final gathering of the bobby pins time, can I get a PRAISE JESUS HALLELUJAH!
I considered briefly moving in with a friend for the week. Or at least meeting her at the bar every night.
Instead, I have a desk calendar covered in lists and post it notes. Because if this shit is waiting until the last minute, there's going to be some GOD DAMN ORDER AND SANITY in it. Or me just slugging away at the Jack bottle I found in her room. Payment for services, princess.
In this non stop party, the summer weather finally decided to arrive. I saw the promise of it arriving, so I spent the last few days getting yard work done before the heat really set in. Weeding, trimming, mowing dead grass, since there's the promise of rain. Of course, this promise of rain is the morning we are moving Ms. Bobby Pin Queen, so I better add umbrellas to the lists. But tonight I realized that weeding must have been bad. Really really bad, because the 16 year old Lao Son actually noticed the flower bed was cleaned out. AND actually asked when I had time to do that.
He's such a good boy, my sweet little Lao Son.
I actually considered writing a few thoughts about something serious, because there are some serious things going on in our country right now. But serious is for the birds at the moment. The birds who have not died of dehydration from the lack of rain and are still shitting all over my truck no matter where I park it. The birds still living in my walls in the comfort of my home of random piles scattered about. The birds who at least are drowned out by the noise of air conditioners running for only the second time this summer.
I hate closed windows. Closed curtains are even more atrocious.
Go away summer. Go away bobby pins.
Welcome home Jack Daniels.
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