It Begins

Day one.

Technically, day two, but yesterday was my day off, so I did not get the joy of the first work day of the boss lady's vacation.

The dear, sweet woman takes off every September, typically for the entire month, but this year, delayed that by a couple weeks.  We're looking at three weeks divided between three of us, with a fourth week of maybe the boss returning for a handful of days before taking off again.

Chaos is not quite the proper term to use.  In fact, I'm not sure there is a term in the English language quite colorful enough to describe it.

Tomfuckery, clusterfuck, fuckaroo...whatever I use to describe it somehow uses the f-bomb in one way or another.

Yes, I understand, it is our busy season.  It was our busy season last week when the boss was present.  It was still the busy season up until she left an hour early on Saturday to hit the road.

And then the alarms, sirens, bells, and warnings sound state wide. 

Yes, I think somehow, in some way, people are notified the moment the boss is gone, and they are told to not only go to our store, but to get their asses there as quickly as possible and then create the biggest possible fuckaroo, clusterfuck, tomfuckery they can.

Even that one hour on Saturday was complete chaos, so I really think I'm on to something here.  Monday's are typically hectic, with the rushing to get those items cleaned out over the weekend into our store as quickly as possible.  But you would think that would mean that Tuesday would see it starting to settle down.

Oh hell no.

I should have known.  I had all the signs glaring at me yesterday, forewarning me of the insanity that was about to take over my life.  In my day off, I managed to get so much cleaning, rearranging, organizing, and decorating done in my own home.  Even FatBastard taking a shit on my new rug didn't slow me down.  And I have to admit, he was right...that rug looked like kaka.  But by the end of the day, I had a home that made me want to just sit and enjoy.  I even rounded out the day baking a cake.  From scratch.  Merely because I felt like it.  I had my shit together and perfected life better than Martha Stewart on crack.  It was like Pinterest took over my soul and navigated my day for me.   Yesterday was a big, giant WIN.

Today was breaking in new boots that wanted to give me a big fat blister.  Ending up in display windows under the pressure of changing them out before I got strung up from a light pole by salivating customers.  Making such a gigantor mess that I then had to rearrange and redecorate the entire front half of the store.  Feeling the accusing eyes on me when I don't immediately respond to where the orange pillows have gone to.  Knowing in my heart of hearts that the orange pillows would nicely tie together my Country Living magazine spread living room, and feeling myself break out into a cold sweat until the customer puts them back down.  Having to tell someone that saving merchandise for them is not an employee perk we are allowed.  Being met with dead silence when I try to keep the humor in the day.   Better yet, when I say the job is more a hobby, being taken seriously and garnering sympathy for working for pennies...nope, not looking for sympathy, just trying to say it's FUN, you funsucking twit.

I've got to find that billboard, or community announcement, and take it down, shut them up, and for the sake of all that is holy, let us get just ONE thing done in a day.

But the highlight of the day?  No, it wasn't the child trying to crawl in our window.  It wasn't having to ask two young women why they kept looking at the ceiling.  It wasn't having to alert parents that their children were tearing toy packaging open.

It was providing one on one service to a very special young woman who will be the Grand Marshall in our homecoming parade.  We've got her dressed in a trendy, fun, adorable outfit tailored to her love of sparkles that comes out in her shining personality.  From greeting her at the door with a fall leaf garland wrapped around my neck, complete with a dance and twirl, to dressing her head to toe and soaking up that smile on her face, I couldn't have asked for a better day.

That's what it's all about.

Penny pay, tomfuckery, chaos while the boss is gone.

And joy.